Surrender Comes Only After

This is part of an ongoing series that will share excerpts of my book-in-progress, tentatively titled Grappling for Good: Revealing grace to light the dark. It’s my journey through a year of unexpected circumstances and soul excavation to discover the goodness of God in surprising ways.

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I keep grasping to the old, and God implores me to let go and find the new. I know this by now. Am I willing to surrender?

                I keep reading.

The Spirit of God will show us what we need to surrender next. Along each step of this process, we will have to give up our claims to our rights to ourselves. Are we willing to surrender our grasp on all that we possess, our desires, and everything else in our lives?  -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

Am I willing? This is the question I must wrestle with. It can only be my decision to let go.

                I find a note in my phone that I made, don’t remember when, but I read my thought: Help me surrender my dreams and open up to Yours.

                Surrender comes only after a grapple, a fight, a wrestling.