On the Lookout for New Mercies

How do we hold hope when hope seems shrouded?

I’m in the middle of a healing journey that is taking much longer than anticipated and desired. I’ve battled with it before, but this time my anxiety has lasted 3/4 of a year and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Every day I’ve prayed for healing, and every day I wait, a battle of building faith and belief. Yes, it has gotten better over the months, but it ebbs and flows. Healing is not linear, and my mind and body rock like a ship sailing over swells of the sea. Up a week, down a week, adjustments made, waiting for days to re-right the nervous system, for medicine to set in, and therapy to strengthen and reshape my thought patterns.

God says over and over in His word that He longs to heal us and that He brings wholeness and restoration. But what happens when we continue to wait for healing? Are we praying wrong? Is healing coming in a different way other than what we are hoping? Will we even get healing on this side of heaven?

Many of these are unknowns and we do not like to sit in ambiguity. So what can we do in the meantime, while we wake to another day of delayed prayer, diminishing hope, and a desire for God’s presence that we haven’t felt in a long time?

We look at where God has been faithful in our lives before.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23)

God‘s character is one of faithfulness. He has been with us in many seasons of despair and uncertainty. And He’s brought us through those challenges. He will be with us this time, bringing us through. We can hold to the truth of His faithful love and steadfastness, and we can take that remembrance of what He has done with us into our present discomfort. We can remember God‘s goodness.

The Lord is good,
a stronghold in the day of trouble;
he knows those who take refuge in him. (Nahum 1:7)

While it may not feel good in this moment and we question whether or not we will ever feel joy or lightness in us again or within our circumstances, we can look at the unchanging goodness of God. He is greater than what we know or can understand, and everything He does comes from a heart that is good. We are His children, His dearly loved children, and He works all things out for good according to His purposes.

This is not something to be taken lightly, because sometimes it hurts so much we do wonder how God can be good to us in the suffering. But we can hold to the hope of the God who heals, confident that He will do what He says. And we open our hands to receive healing in the ways He will work it out. God is deepening our faith as we wait on Him, as we decide each day to believe He is at work, especially when we cannot see. He cares. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, He is with us wherever we go (Joshua 1:9).

I am waiting with you. I am choosing to believe with you that our God is good on His promises. When it’s hard to wait for healing, look to the Healer who is with us. We will never be forsaken. Let’s hold to the hope we confess, for He who promised is faithful.