Sleigh bells are ringing, lights are gleaming, twinkling. Curled up under a blanket, mug of hot cocoa nestled in my hands, right now I’m living for Christmas-cozy feels. It’s been hard getting to this point, however. Since the hint of the holiday season, I’ve prepped and prepared for squeezing the most out of these quickly fleeting weeks.
Sure, my heart says to savor, but my body and mind tell me to rush ahead, give until there’s nothing left, sacrifice, strain, and stay focused on getting it all done in time for everyone to enjoy the festivities. Christmas is a giving time, after all. The season of selflessness, the joy of an undeserved but eternal gift come to Earth for us. The month of miracles and sitting with what this season really means.So why am I hooked on hectic? Why do I look for a sign to see whether this season is going my way? It’s as if I have this cookie-cutter idea of what I expect from the holiday, and if it’s a fraction of an inch different than my expectations, I moan and marvel at how it just doesn’t seem like the way I experienced it before. Goodness, how nostalgia can tempt and trap.
If I step back and assess my actions, I am trying to make the season about me. Yes, this year is different than in years past. My schedule’s changed and doesn’t allow time for making gifts or greeting cards or even, dare I admit, deep reflection on the origin of the reason we’re celebrating in the first place. Somehow, in my twisted, self- absorbed brain, I’ve made it about what I can get from the hustle and bustle.
How did I get my worship so warped?
Pause. Breathe. Remember.
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Honored to be in The Sisterhood Magazine’s Winter/Holiday issue – read online or get a print copy!
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